Is it Wednesday already? It is funny how life marches on and you just kind of lose track of days because you are doing your thing. June has been a month of deep cleaning. We have a small apartment compared to the amount of people living here, so while we always tidy up, it gets easily cluttered.
I was sitting at my desk at the end of May thinking about how to fix that, when I decided it was time to do a radical declutter of the entire house. I gave myself small jobs for each day. With six children, I need to have everything bite sized to accommodate for the many starts and stops that occur when you have many kids. You really have to make time for the inevitable things like, "MOOOOOM! She's touching my stuff again without asking me!" and "Mom! Lucian fell down and hurt his head!"
I noticed this way of cleaning was working for me, not just because I was doing it in small tasks and not all at once, but because my attitude was different. I wasn't making lists of things to do and volunteering everyone else to help...like I tend to do. (It is OUR house...why shouldn't they help out?) No. It was working because I had decided that I was doing it. For me. Sure, I'd like to have help; it would go faster. But I don't resent the lack of help. I have come to realize that my way of waiting for help or not doing anything until others help was clearly not working. My personal standards of clean are different than the other members of my family so if I want my standard to be met, I should be the one to get it there. It isn't their fault. They had no idea.
And instantly, the years of resentment that no one helped out was gone. Really. I mean it. Vanished.
That doesn't mean that the kids get to loaf around. They have always had age appropriate chores. Melody vacuums the carpets, washes the tile floors, and takes out the kitchen trash. Kayla washes the dishes and cleans the counters and the bar. And Ambrosia tidies the living room, cleans the kitchen table, and takes out the bathroom trash. Once the younger three can follow simple directions, I'll give them something to do. Occasionally Lucian and Beverlie will want to spray a counter or window and wipe it because they've seen us doing it. Or I will catch Lucian with the broom. Beverlie's teacher is working with her to clean up after herself, so she has begun to throw trash away (which is a BIG deal for her). Harrison is way too young at six months old to do anything, but his first chore when he's older will be to help me sort socks. (That is all the children's first chore when they were young.) He'll probably be around a year when that happens, though.
We have an inspection coming up, so I have asked for the kids help to put the finishing touches on the house. I haven't required it of them, but if they want to do the extra fun stuff, they need to do an extra chore. It is their choice whether they want to help or not. No nagging. No resentment. I never had chores growing up. My mom did everything. When I became an adult, I had no idea how to clean. I don't want that for my kids. I feel that this is OUR home, so everyone should pitch in to keep it a refuge.
I'll be starting a Homemaker's Challenge on July 1st, so you'll get more posts from me about that sort of thing over the coming month. I know you're excited, huh? *smile*
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